sometimes i get scared my body will grow old before i do. already it betrays me with old injuries that don't heal, fevers i can't shrug off - thailand put such a strain on my back i'm not sure it'll recover anytime soon.
as a boy you tend to think that you're invincible, that you'll recover from anything, that enough sleep and rest will heal your body of anything life can throw at it. it's hard to imagine never being able to recover, to imagine and accept that what is gone is gone. youth means that you will never die.
nicks, scratches, bruises, cuts from the blades of concertina wire digging into my arm. my body is deteriorating, being covered over with scars.
my hands are rougher now.
what is gone is gone is gone.
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